It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
