Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
