I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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