whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
