i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
