Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
