Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
