i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Randomize
