I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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