I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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