I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
