I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you inspire me to be a worse person
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
