But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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