If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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