so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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