my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
