Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
