Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
