I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
