It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
