Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
