the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
