you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
