Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
