Already got asked if we're dating
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
