Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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