so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
