i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
