You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
apparently the secret to your success is patron
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i came on her dog
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
