We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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