this beer tastes like vomit already
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
