why didn't you poke me back
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
