If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
