I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He better not be in your backpack
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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