Having a random hookup so left but love u
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
