420 ftw
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
