remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
