you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
