piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
