we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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