Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
