I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
