I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Too much gin, very little bucket
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
