ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
