we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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