Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
