I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
