i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
