I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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