A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
