where does the pee come out of this thing
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
